Christian Thorn vs. Ronnie Pearl & Teddy Trouble
It’s no secret that gorgeous young Christian is one of our favorites here in the front office at W4H. We are not very pleased that the Boss is continually subjecting him to beating after beating after beating, but the Boss never asks our opinions on these matters. Christian is wearing the tightest metallic yellow and orange trunks we’ve ever seen. Not only do they show off all his personal assets, they are so tight that we wonder how the stitching is holding together. He enters spitting water into a spray. Next enters Mr. Teddy Trouble wearing that cheap-ass fake fur coat once again. He holds up his vodka bottle calling for a salute to Grey Goose. For once we agree with Mr. Trouble. Ravishing Ronnie Pearl enters with much less fanfare but looks like he has a nasty attitude, in other words, his normal demeanor.
The purpose of this is not a wrestling match, luckily for Christian. These two W4H heels are here to give some lessons to Christian. They put him through some painful holds and stretching, but this is pro wrestling, not cooking class at the local community college. Christian is young and tough, and clearly eager to learn. There does appear to be quite a bit of sexual tension in the air. There’s a lot of rubbing and touching of Christian (we wish we were the ones doing that!), as well as lot of talk about hair, diets, washboard abs, asses, and as Teddy says it, “wieners,” obviously referring to Christian’s very ample package. Sex talk aside, things are going along very well until Christian starts showing off what he knows. First Ronnie lands on his head, then Teddy gets rolled, then Teddy and Ronnie both get rolled. Tempers start to flare. Things take a turn for the worse when the discussion turns to a debate of fat vs long and riding the saddle. Teddy is clearly annoyed, even more so when he realizes Christian has “more” than he does. This makes us wonder what does on in the locker room.
Teddy and Ronnie argue over what to do next. The debate between them shows all the intelligence of two idiots. It’s painfully clear that they don’t have a lesson plan for giving Christian wrestling lessons. These guys may be tough heels in the ring, but when it comes to being instructors, well, let’s just say they’re in over their heads – a lot! Ronnie makes the decision to show Christian that the best way to finish an opponent off in a tag match is to double-team him. No argument here. Christian ends up flipping Teddy down, causing him to land on his head, then gets Ronnie in a brutal abdominal stretch. Teddy and Ronnie start arguing, then going back-and-forth with fists, kicks, and clotheslines. A stomp on Ronnie’s nuts has us all wincing in pain. We would love to tell you how this training session/impromptu match ends, but we don’t believe it ourselves. We played it back several times and still don’t believe it. All we can say is that it is f’ing impressive. Damn f’ing impressive!!!
TOTAL RUN-TIME: 21 minutes, 14 seconds
