Cam Zagucci vs. Jobe Zander (Outdoors)


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Young Cam in outside stretching on his wrestling mats talking about the beautiful day, doing some yoga, and scoring some babes. He’s in his yellow and white trunks with white boots, when up walks Jobe. Jobe introduces himself as his neighbor, comments on the mats looking more like wrestling mats than yoga mats, and thanks Cam for the invitation to the barbeque. Cam says he doesn’t remember inviting him, to which Jobe says, “That’s alright, I invited myself.” The match is on. Cam is in great shape and is a handsome guy, but Jobe has a tough reputation in the wrestling world. So much for Cam’s beautiful day. 

Jobe takes advantage of Cam right off, but the young stud is able to reverse some things on Jobe. He grabs Jobe from behind, but Jobe stomps on his foot and then comes around and kicks him in the ass. “Some neighbor you are!” states Cam. We have a feeling that poor Cam has just scratched the surface with Jobe. Any neighbor who invites himself over for a barbeque, but wants to kick your ass in a wrestling match first doesn’t seem too neighborly to us. Cam knows some wrestling moves and is able to apply some, but he’s up against a man with a mean reputation. Jobe loves his reputation for being ruthless in the ring or on the mats and has no intentions of losing to a yoga-loving neighbor. Quickly Cam’s vocabulary is reduced to “OH! OW! AH! and NO!” as Jobe punishes his pretty neighbor. As he’s stretched out over Jobe’s knee, Cam says he wasn’t prepared for this. No shit? 

Jobe puts him in a headlock and pulls him off the mats, drags him through the yard and slams him up against a tree. A few shots to his midsection leaves Cam down in the grass. Jobe grabs him by the hair and pulls him back onto the mats, only to start some painful legwork on young Cam, leaving him screaming out, “I’ll give you anything you want! An invitation? I’ll invited you!” He must be losing blood to his brain because he’s saying that he has cooler friends and a way better house. Not smart, Cam. Not smart at all. It isn’t long before Cam is tapping and screaming out his first submission. 

Cam hasn’t recovered from his first submission before Jobe starts in with more punishment. We’re hoping Cam doesn’t have a date anytime soon as his package gets some serious abuse from Jobe. A brutal bearhug has Cam submitting again. Cam begs to stop the match after submitting a third time. Jobe still isn’t feeling very neighborly and continues with is onslaught of abuse. Cam does manage to roll over put his knees right into Jobe’s package, turning the tide briefly before making his dominant neighbor submit in a camel clutch. A second submission leave Cam flexing and trash-talking. Cam gets Jobe to apologize and admit he should have been nicer. Big freaking mistake. Jobe takes the opportunity to regain control. It isn’t long before the pretty boy is screaming out his next submission. Jobe uses Cam’s arm to smash his own package several times before slamming his head onto the mat in a DDT. It’s an easy three-count for Jobe as Cam lays motionless on the mats. 

My advice to Cam: grill Jobe a huge t-bone steak, give him a few strong cocktails and anything else he wants at your barbeque. Next, don’t be dumb enough to come out onto to wrestling mats wearing a little yellow and white pair of wrestling trunks when you know your ruthless neighbor may be watching. Lastly, consult with your local real estate agent as you would be well-advised to move. Jobe just loves beating up jobbers such as yourself and he won’t stop after just one beating. If you do decide to stay, try and find a tag team partner who can wrestle better than you or you’ll just continue to be dominated, punished, and humiliated by your neighbor.

Total Run-time: 21 minutes, 19 seconds

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