Jobe Zander vs. Zach Reno (Knocked Out)


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Zach is stretching in his lime green trunks in an outdoor ring when the much larger Jobe steps through the ropes. Jobe makes fun of Zach’s height and size, only to have Zach let him know that he has a fight with him until he’s done with Jobe. Zach shows some promise early on, but it doesn’t take long for Jobe to take charge. A few well-placed blows to Zach’s package has his normally deep voice sounding more like a soprano. In what appears to be record time for a W4H match, Zach becomes the victim of Jobe’s sleeper, a hold he’s mastered and loves to use. Zach’s hairy little body is left gasping for air and struggling to regain consciousness. Jobe continues his punishment of Zach, making us believe Zach is wishing he never agreed to this match. Zach is shown no mercy and is viciously and brutally attacked. 

Zach struggles hard to escape a second sleeper from the big man, but ultimately his body drops down to the canvas again as he is out cold. Jobe even comments that the sleeper is Zach’s Achilles heel. It certainly appears to be an accurate statement. Once again, Jobe continues the hold long after Zach is out. Doesn’t he realize that holding it too long could cause serious injury? Perhaps, but then again, does he care? More shots to his package leaves Zach wishing he would have worn a protective cup under those lime green trunks. Jobe grinds his boots so hard into Zach’s package that we swear we can hear his voice climb several octaves as he screams out in pain. As he straddles the middle rope, Jobe drags him down the side of the ring, causing some serious rope burns to his package. That’s the least of his worries as Jobe kicks the middle rope, causing Zack to fall into the ring with his legs crossed like a little girl. Jobe pounds Zach’s gut so often and so hard that his hand is hurting, albeit no nearly as much as Zach’s midsection. Two attempted pins only cause Jobe to dish out more punishment to Zach. It isn’t long before Zach has another meeting with the sandman and is put to sleep for a third time. Zach’s arms – and other parts – are as limp as a ragdoll as Jobe struts around the ring. Talk about your rude awakenings, Jobe brings Zach around by pulling on his ankles and planting his boot squarely in Zach’s package. 

It appears as if Jobe is going for a reverse DDT when we realize he is putting Zach into a dragon sleeper. Zach does put up a little bit of a fight, but is soon catching his ZZZZZ’s once again. A knee to his package gives Zach another rude awakening. Zach is knocked out by an unbelievable clothesline. Jobe goes for the pin, but stops barely short of the three-count, staying a pin is no fun and he has a record to set. Some serious gut punishment has Zach attempting a comeback and actually asking for more. Jobe is all too happy to oblige, then follows it with another clothesline, laying Zach out cold again. We have to wonder if poor Zach even knows where he is or what is happening to him. He probably feels like he’s been run over by a tank. Jobe goes for another sleeper, but our hairy and muscular little jobber manages to get out of it and put one on Jobe. What’s this? Is the brutal heel going to sleep? HA! Jobe isn’t about to be humiliated by this hairy jobber and a stomp on Zach’s foot breaks the hold instantly. Zach struggles desperately to avoid another nap as he’s put into one more sleeper. It’s to no avail as his weakened body just can’t fight it any longer. 

Back, gut, neck, legs, arms, and his package. Zach gets dissected more than a frog in a biology class. His body is badly beaten and his package took so much abuse that we doubt even Viagra or Cialis can help him now. If Zach gets beat up like this much more, he’ll have to challenge Johnny Jobber and Christian Satinall to a three-way match for the title of King of the Jobbers. He was abused and punished from start to finish. He should definitely refine his wrestling skills before signing on for a match against someone like Jobe Zander in the future.

Total Run-time: 31 minutes

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