Ronnie Pearl vs. Noah Yuckenberg


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Baby-faced Noah is back and stripped out of his usual singlets to a pair of army green posing trunks. The kid has a lot of potential in the body department but he needs some training, so he’s agreed to submit to Ronnie Pearl’s Drill Sargent persona. Pearl is putting him through his paces with jumping jacks and push-ups, while Noah shouts an earnest “Yes, Sir!” But he’s not up to the task of a one-armed push-up, and Pearl drops down to show him how it’s done by a real man. That gets Pearl’s veins pumping through those dominating biceps, and you know he’s going to have to work off all that pumped up testosterone. But first, he’s going to make Noah do some squats, crunches, and burpees, demanding that he now answer Pearl with a “Yes, Sir! Alpha Sir!” 

Pearl torments his Beta relentlessly, demanding that he do the work to get “hard.” We assume he means “hard-muscled,” but the mind might wander. In fact, he gets so exasperated that Noah seems committed to staying soft, he boot stomps him down, and then pulls that baby face back by the hair and works into a vein-popping chinlock. And all the while, Pearl is showing off his vascular single bicep and chiseled pecs, demanding, “Are you going to get hard, Beta?” Noah is in too much pain to do anything 

more than squeak out a reply. Pearl is bringing the full heel, and Noah gets red-faced and thisclose to crying out for his mama. 

The big mistake Noah makes is when he screams, “I give up!” You don’t give up on Pearl until he’s ready for you to give up. And out comes the cloverleaf, torqueing that ankle, leg, and back until Noah screams he’s ready for more. Pearl is only going to get more sadistic from here on out. When he puts Noah flat on his back, plants one boot on Noah’s right ankle, and then stretches the other ankle all the way to the left, you will either be in awe of how much of a split Noah can manage, or wonder if that wishbone is going to snap. I guess he’s lucky to have youth on his side, because at least he will recover faster from the back-breaking paces Pearl is putting him through. 

This match is a total squash job, but Pearl is masterful at maneuvering his target into excruciating holds, and Noah certainly shows us he can suffer . . . and suffer . . . and suffer some more. 

Run-time: 19 minutes, 10 seconds

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