When Ronnie Pearl and Z-Man square off in the ring, you might think this is going to be an ordinary face-heel showdown. But Z-Man is no ordinary face and Pearl is no ordinary heel. They’re damn handsome, hard-bodied studs, with genuine six-pack abs. And “abs” is the theme of the day. Because this match is a total ab attack. Plus, the ribs, for good measure. There’s probably little doubt in your mind about whose abs are going to suffer, since Z-Man has proven to be a consummate jobber in our ring. Pearl wastes little time in bringing the punishment. He immediately softens Z-Man up with a trip to the corner. Suspended in the ropes, Z-Man’s abs are exposed and waiting, and Pearl lays on the chops, knees, and kicks. Pearl is going to take full advantage of the extra leverage he gets out of the ropes, laying on a debilitating corner foot choke. Of course, that’s all the better for weakening Z-Man even further, so that Pearl can move this torture to the mat. 

Pearl proclaims that he loves submission holds, and there’s no doubt. With Z-Man helpless and flailing in an arm bar, Pearl can start cracking those ribs. Out come the claws and chops. Since Pearl is a trained, professional sadist, he’s going to work Z-Man into a lot of different submissions, never easing up on his assault of Z-Man’s defenseless torso. 

At one point, Pearl has him locked up like a pretzel, a food Z-Man clearly never eats. But he might leave this match wishing he ate a few more carbs to give those abs a little more protection. Pearl just keeps delivering the blows. The knees, chops, slaps, rams, slams, and stomps never stop. Z-Man may also consider cutting his famously full head of hair, because it’s just too easy for Pearl to use that to drag his ass into submission. Z-Man is left trying to catch his breath, trying to give up, and Pearl is going to answer that with a hard elbow drop, and even more sadism. 

If abs are your thing, this is your new number one. But even if abs aren’t your thing, you can’t go wrong with a hot, evil, heel and a sexy, suffering, face. 

Run-time: 20 minutes, 16 seconds